This article appeared in the December 2014 issue of the United States Bocce Federation Western Sector Newsletter.

As we approach the Christmas and Holiday Season I thought it might be interesting to write a few thoughts about some of the things that make playing our game a better experience.

The pallino and bocce sometimes are all that we see. From time to time it is appropriate to step back a few paces and look at the game of bocce from a different perspective.

There have been some situations this past year where sometimes a player loses sight of the overall concept that we are all playing bocce because it is a great pastime and it is supposed to be fun. It is common sense that all the rules in the book and codes of conduct will not help a player regain his or her composure if they lose it on the court. As my friend Rolando says, “Sometimes common sense is not so common.”

Common sense dictates that respect for one’s teammates and opponents should be first and foremost when on the court. If a player loses respect for his teammates or opponents then the player also loses respect for the game itself. When a player loses respect for the game it is time to take a time out and sit in the corner. When one sits in the corner one becomes very lonely. Of course, in real life, no adults are going to step back and sit in a corner! Emotions take over and tempers rise. One player recently went so far as to threaten his opponent after his temper rose a bit over normal. Another player did not like his team’s decision and refused to pose for the team picture! Perhaps sitting in a corner might have helped this individual.

Respect begins with courtesy. Webster’s defines courtesy as: “polite, kind, considerate behavior or an instance of it.” When starting a game it is customary to shake hands prior to the start of the game. There have been some instances where a player might refuse to shake hands because of some personal feelings. Even worse, a player that loses a game might turn away and avoid the post-game handshake. Relax. No one has ever been hurt by shaking hands. Both of these examples happen from time to time and though it is fairly rare, most of us have witnessed this kind of behavior.

Respect also enters the discussion where rules are concerned. It is very important to have respect for the rules in force for the game being played. Sometimes a player may be new to the game and may not understand certain nuances of a rule. The proper thing to do is to follow the definition of courtesy and explain the rule and hopefully the player will then understand and respect the rule. Respect for the rules also means that players should not bend rules and look for wrinkles that may not be intended by a rule. An experienced player might try to gain an advantage over a less experienced player by spouting some form of a rule that may or may not exist. This is another situation that occurs from time to time and is sad to see. Having a set of written rules handy will help foster a respect for the rules!

Another facet of the respect issue is for players to have respect for spectators and spectators to have respect for players. It is a two way street. Players should play the game and be courteous to the onlookers. Spectators should watch the game and be courteous to the players. When a spectator offers unsolicited advice to one team, there is a certain amount of implied disrespect shown to the other team. In reality, most of the time neither team wants to be bothered by this kind of advice! The people outside the fence do not have a stake in the game.

There is another aspect of the respect issue. League administrators and tournament directors work hard to provide an enjoyable event for all levels of players. They deserve the respect of the players. In leagues and tournaments, players just have to show up and play a few games. Sometimes they are unaware of all the hard work that others have put in so that they can have their “game day” fun. Before they challenge a draw, bracket, or administrative decision they might want to step back and look at the big picture. By the same token, league administrators and tournament directors need to be sympathetic to the questions that players might have about these same issues. Courtesy and respect go a long way.

The last discussion of courtesy and respect for this article is knowing how to win and how to lose. A losing player should respect the efforts of the winning player and be courteous when shaking hands. A winning player should never gloat or belittle the losing player or team. Without the other team there would be no game and no victory. Every game must have a winner and a loser. In the words of the late Bruno Freschet, a great bocce player and USBF Wall of Honor member, “Never be sad if you lose a game. Be happy that you were able to play.”

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all!